Entering a new decade: thank God for the journey

We are on the cusp of entering a new decade and perhaps you, like me are wondering just where the last ten years have gone. I took some time to go back into the archives of the blog to refresh my memory of just how much Generous Space has evolved in the last decade.

In 2009 blogging was in a hey-day. And we decided to host a “synchro-blog” in which we invited more than 30 bloggers to all post on the same day about how bridges could be built at the intersection of faith, gender, and sexuality. That language of building bridges felt hopeful and courageous and risky. In workshops from those days, we talked about barriers to building bridges such as fear, pride, lack of readiness, different paradigms, different hermeneutics (ways of interpreting scripture), and ethnic and cultural differences. We felt that key tools to building bridges included learning to really listen, humility, really understanding grace, building relationship over a long time, being willing to be transparent and vulnerable, demonstrating a willingness to understand other perspectives, and taking on a learning posture rather than being agenda-driven. And we talked about some of the benefits – the fruit – of building bridges namely, it helps us to grow, it’s not “us” vs. “them”, it brings maturity, we get to bless one another, we remember the Kingdom of God is diverse, creates space for other who come after us, can help reach those who don’t know Christ, we practice being Christ-centered, helps us live out unity in diversity, and we serve others in relationship.

And while it is interesting to see some of the seeds of the core values and key commitments of Generous Space in those reflections, I am also deeply aware that those early efforts of bridge building failed to fully consider power dynamics, privilege, spiritual and religious trauma, and the experience of oppression. I’m grateful for the ways we have been growing in these areas as a community.

As I read the comment threads from some of those blogs I find myself so profoundly grateful for the individuals, some of whom are now long time friends, who engaged, probed, asked important questions, and so often gave us the benefit of the doubt as we stumbled forward to find our way. Ten years ago there were several individuals, who grew up in Christian contexts who no longer held to a Christian framework, who invested time and energy to regularly comment. In particular, Brian and Jarred taught me so much. Their integrity as human beings, their willingness to dialogue with respect and openness, and their authenticity in sharing their experiences were definitely seeds sown that are now bearing good fruit in the embrace of our Triple A (atheist, agnostic, and ambiguous about faith) folks in our Generous Space community. In 2010 Brian said, “I am not some beggar waiting for mercy – I have strength to offer – you need me too. The church dehumanizes me when it disallows my capacity for grace toward others (which as an atheist means something different to me than a believer, but is no less important to me).” I hope that the last ten years have given all of us, wherever we are on our journeys, the grace to welcome and embrace each others’ strengths and gifts.

It is amazing to me how much energy over the last ten years was invested in holding space for difference. A lot of that difference early on had to do with theological convictions about intimate queer relationships. Just this week as I’ve been meeting with folks inviting them to support Generous Space, I have had significant conversations about how important it is to not simply cultivate a community of group-think but to nurture truly generous space where people have room to contemplate, and to own their own beliefs and values – which may also include critiquing, revising, deconstructing, or rebuilding. Over the years, we’ve leaned into the idea of shalom – God’s work of making things right and the freedom to flourish – as a way to curiously and compassionately speak into each other’s lives.  Without the tension of difference, what will keep us learning and growing? How will we become enlarged in the practice of love unless we encounter those we find challenging to love?

How will we move more deeply into God’s vision of shalom unless we awaken to the barriers that those different than ourselves need to dismantle if they hope to flourish?

In the last ten years more than 550 blogs were posted. Apparently, nearly 350 of them were attributed to me. There was a time when I was posting a few times a week and some of my posts were nearly the length of a book chapter. A lot has changed. I’m thrilled that we now feature a “community contribution” blog once a month and that Beth and Jamie are also monthly contributors.  We still ask hard questions, welcome difference, and seek to inhabit a humble and teachable posture.

It’s easy to feel embarrassed about certain things from the past. I can’t believe I was still using the phrase same-gender attracted in 2010 and cringe to realize that despite my effort to be descriptive rather than definitive, I contributed to a sense of erasure by not adopting the shared nomenclature of sexual and gender diverse folks.

But as I read and reflected on the last ten years, I also just found myself so incredibly grateful for the patient grace of God. It is, after-all, the both/and of prophetic urgency to dismantle the systemic injustices that are traumatizing and harming people and the reality that God accompanies us at a pace in which true transformation can take root.

When I was a little girl my mom gave me a poster that said, “Be patient with me, God isn’t finished with me yet.” I had pretty ambivalent feelings about it at the time because it seemed to cause me to focus on all the things that I was getting wrong or messing up.

Thankfully, a lot of water has passed under the bridge since then. Generous Space as a concept embodied in real relationship and community is (always) becoming …. becoming a place of deeper belovedness and belonging. In our embodied efforts we stumble and fail. And I hope that we all are growing in the capacity to embrace that part of the journey too. Because at the end of the day, it isn’t really about trying to measure our progress, it is about giving thanks for all the learning and growth in the process.

Thank you God for the last ten years of Generous Space. Thank you for the ideas and conversations and friendships and shared wisdom and mistakes and prayerful silence that shaped, and are shaping, the way we seek to be in Generous Space community together. Thank you that through it all, questions and doubts and frustrations not-with-standing, you have been faithful and trustworthy to lovingly accompany us on this journey.